The Awkward Traveler

I did it again, I got too drunk from wine. I really have a RWP (red wine problem.) It’s so good I just chug it down like juice until my mouth is red and I’m stumbling around. It’s all good fun, but last night I was too drunk to hit up the club with the gang. I just staid at home and passed out in my red wine stupor, granted it was already 1:30 when they left.

But, no regrets. I just have to learn to take it easy with the red wine. 

On the plus side, last night we video chatted into Ilan’s birthday party. Man, technology is wonderful and it was good to see everyone. We miss our buddies! The red wine did dull the pain. 

It’s nice to know somethings don’t change across borders and language barriers. You can always find a Chinatown. Today me, Suz, and Santi went to the aforementioned Chinatown and I was amazed. Chinatown is chinatown, stores with cheap souvenirs, swords, and little waving golden cats. I even ordered vegetable lo-mein for lunch and I swear I could have been at Shang Hi on Route 1.

Also we found a super sweet chinese grocery store which sold sushi rolls for cheap and picked up some lox, we are Jews after all and what’s an afternoon without a little lox.

Speaking of Jews, we went to services last night. Argentinean Jews are much less obnoxious then American Jews mainly because they don’t talk like they’re related to Miriam.

At the DNC party last night, in a bar packed full of obnoxious half drunk Americans, someone thought I was an Argentine. Score!

I’ve been here one week and it feels like so much more. I’m completely comfortable in my environs and have developed a somewhat loose schedule. Also news to celebrate is that I’ve gone one week without an attempted robbery!

This afternoon I had a job interview to be an account manager for this web development firm. It sounds super serious, so I went dressed in my sunday best: slacks, shiny black shoes, freshly shaven face, and even a tie. I arrived early and found that the office was filled with just a few 20 year old guys in jeans. Needless to say I was a tad overdressed. But it seemed like a casj (how do you spell the abbrev for casual?) work place and I hope things work out.

I’m continuing to find things that interest me in the city. I found an incredible bookstore the other day, its in an old theatre with the different balconies serving as different levels of the store. They even had a cafe situated where the stage used to be. In addition, today I found a kabob place, a necessity in any carnivores travel diet. 

In the last two months I’ve taken a jog twice! Take that Ilan’s powerpoint… My new healthy lifestyle has begun, if you excuse the mountains of food I eat here. I’m practically Michael Phelps, eating enormous amounts of food just to sustain my exercise regimen.

I’m still homeless and jobless. But I’m feeling positive in my search. I may have found a job taking photos for a travel website and I’m going to visit an apt this afternoon.

The next few days hold some exciting events. I’m going to a democratic happy hour to watch the DNC, Suz and I are going to services at a local synagogue on friday, and Sunday I think we’re going to a soccer game.

By the way my skype name is awkwardtraveler if you want to chat…

Today I learned to dance the national Argentine dance, the tango. The sultry sexy dance that only the most suave and sensual men can pull off. In case you didn’t see where that was going, I’m a suave and sensual man and yes I did pull it off. 

So I’m just going to put it out there, a man kissed me… on the cheek, in greeting. This is not a custom I am accustomed to. We’ve been hanging out a lot with this Argentine guy, Santiago. He likes Wilco so he’s alright in my book. But imagine my surprise when I stick out my hand and instead get a kiss on the cheek. I was confused and thought “Well maybe he wants a hug” so now we’re in this weird handshake/hug/cheek kiss. However, I laughed it off as all good travelers must.

Anyways I think he got the point as we now settle for a diagonal hand grasp, the kind that usually leads to more fancy hand work but in this case is left unfulfilled.

Last night I got dizzingly drunk. At least I got to sample the local Argentine wine. Wine is my weakness. How can I control myself when I’ve been drinking wine every friday night for as long as I can remember. I blame Judaism for my Red Wine Addiction.

I expected to get close with Susanna. We’re in a foreign country together and for now I’m staying with her. But I got an unexpected suprise this morning when Susanna opened the door on me taking a twosie. Yep, she saw me pooping. Now I’ve got nothing left to hide. There goes my mystery.

Hola! So I´m here in Buenos Aires. It has been a diffucult journey to get here. I mean they showed Leatherheads on the plane. Leatherheads!

But on a more positive note I´m going to share with you some of my firsts here in Argentina:

First time getting ripped of by a taxi driver

First Argentine meal

First protest

First time taking the metro

First time seeing someone text while riding a bike on a busy street

First drag show and first time being molested by said drag queens

First time getting pick pocketed

Thats right, within my first 24 hours here I got robbed. Note to self: orange back packs attract thieves. And lady just because you put a scarf over your hand doesnt mean I cant feel you opening my zipper. Enjoy the empty glasses case you sucka!