The Awkward Traveler

It was a long arduous journey from Guatemala to Nicaragua. I spent the entire day travelling through 4 countries, crossing borders, and driving deeper and deeper into extreme heat. I was accopanied the whole way with the 4 Nicaraguan women who would become my hosts. They kept a close eye on me, making sure I staid hydrated and laughing at my misfortunes. When we reached Honduras, we got off our comfy air conditioned bus and continued by pickup truck. There were 5 of us and strangely enough the police will give you trouble if there are more bodies than seatbelts inside of the truck. Being the gentleman, I offered to ride in the back of the pickup truck, hair blowing in the wind, no seatbelt in sight. The police dont seem to have a probem with this…

I enjoyed the sights as we drove through green hills and little pueblitos spotted the side of the road. I was so enraptured I almost didn´t notice when we pulled over to the side. I soon realized we had stopped and saw there was a group of four boys all holding iguanas of various sizes. Some green and some with yellow stripes, all were bound with twine. Oh I thought, I guess maybe one of the ladies wants to pick up a pet for her kids as a souvenir from Honduras. As they chose the best specimen, I sat in the back as a one eyed kid appraoched me and tried to get me to buy his iguana. He quickly realized, along with all of the ladies, that I am terrified of Iguanas. I always have been. Ask Ilan, I hated his pet Iguana Zeeke. He taunted me with the grotesque lizard, as I jumped to the opposite side of the truck, stumbling over the luggage. After I escaped near death at the hands of a hungry Iguana, I soon learned that he would not make a new pet, but would be dinner. Apparently they are illegal to buy as food in Nicaragua, so they smuggle them across the Honduran border. They found our new friend a hiding spot underneath the drivers seat and we continued undiscovered by the border police…