The Awkward Traveler

India was a dream. I ate naan until my heart was content and I spent the most amazing night under the Indian desert sky. Though it might have just been the Anthony Bourdain approved cookies that made that night…

After a rough 24 hours of traveling and meeting James Cameron at the New Delhi airport customs (he genuinely seemed surprised when I told him I loved Avatar, like its not the highest grossing movie of all time!) we made it to Cambodia. The temples of Angkor have lived up to my highest expectations and the throngs of Cambodian’s selling their goods just add to the experience. “Heeeyyyy Misstaaaa! Hansooommeee Mistaaa, you want pinaplllleeee???” As tempting as they make it sound, I usually resist, which involves a lot of effort and repeating of “no thanks!

Other highlights include a fish massage (little fish who feast on your dead skin) and a blind massage (blind people who give a good ole fashion rub down.) Who can resist such luxuries at Asian prices…

I know you are dying to hear the thrilling conclusion of Josh and Ilan get arrested in India. Well, it’s a pretty simple story: climb under a barbwire fence for pristine Taj Mahal  riverside views and then resist leaving private property when unidentified man tells us to leave. We’ve come to trust no one in India, so we weren’t about to walk off with some stranger just because he told us to. But when a man in uniform (with a gun) made his way towards us, we realized we had done something very very wrong. We were escorted past a big metal gate to the police station where everyone seemed to be enjoying scaring the bejesus out of the foreigners. I never thought I would hear the words “you are under arrest,” but they flowed with menace from the mouth of the Indian guard. Shit. Right about then we got real scared. Images flashed in my head of Indian prison torture (endless spicy curry diarrhea) and an eventual rescue by Bill Clinton. Luckily it never came to that. Between trying not to pee our pants we explained away our trespassing and thankfully they let us walk away scot free….

Check out Ilan’s blog for some other trip highlights and a taste of what’s to come…

My flight got delayed and I ended up in China, we got arrested in India, and Ilan puked on the Taj Mahal. Needless to say it’s been a pretty incredible week. More to come later…