The Awkward Traveler

My plane leaves in just a few short hours and I’ve managed to procrastinate entriely too much. I’ve still got a few things left to do, zippers to zip, clothes to shove. But, I am stocked on medication, I went a little crazy in the pharmacy aisle of target. I’ve got something for every occasion, I will not be caught unprepared!

I’m still not to sure what the next 3.5 weeks will hold for me. The plans seem to be very fluid, we are no longer going to Costa Rica, which is a bit of a bummer. But I’m just along for the ride, ready for whatever or whoever may come my way. I’m bringing my laptop with me, to make some videos on the road, so hopefully Ill have internet connection to update this sucker.

Hasta luego amigos!

I love looking at the stats on my blog. It can tell me how many people have visited each day and most hilariously the search terms they used to find my site on Google. I want to share with you a few of my favorites

• awkward traveler
• nazi bbq sauce
• big breasted women
• i am awkward when saying goodbye
• bigest breast women in world
• guerrilla farming in texas
• organic volunteer el bolson argentina
• hot big breasted women

I find it hard to believe that out of all the porn on the internet, someone searched “big breasted women” and then ended up at my site. I mean have I even written any posts about big breasted women? What about “guerrilla farming in Texas.” I’m pretty sure I haven’t written about farming a rogue group of armed forces in the state of Texas, but maybe I’m forgetting something.

I hope you weirdoes continue to search google for your sick stuff and keep ending up at my site…

Update: After further research I discovered a post about a Hooters in Buenos Aires from September 2008. Myth Busted!

Alright. I know this is late, but being jobless has turned me into a lazy slug. I can’t motivate myself to do anything besides alternate from the TV to the computer. Luckily I’ll be on the road in less than a week and be forced out of my lazy stupor.

Anyways, I spent last weekend in New York City, also known as the Big Apple and the city that never sleeps. I was looking for an excuse to get out of the house, visit some friends, and just explore. I’ve spent a decent amount of time in New York, but I really felt like I got a better grasp on the mammoth than ever before. I made it to two new Boroughs, Brooklyn and the Bronx. I took the Subway all by myself and even got to witness the infamous 4 am crazies who come out to make the yuppy drunkards feel uncomfortable. However, my experience in the Bronx was painfully more uncomfortable. I made the 10 block freezing walk to the Subway stop at 3 am. I don’t know if you’ve ever been in the Bronx at 3 am but it is scary. I saw someone running with a baseball bat! I don’t think they were going to be hitting any balls with that! Or maybe thats exactly what they’d be doing…Ouch!

Sometimes life throws a surprise your direction and you can’t do anything but go along for the ride. I’d been terribly worried that my two transition months before backbacking in Asia would be marred by intense boredom. But, little did I know, an incredible oppurtunity was around the corner.

My good friend and past travel buddy, Maya, had been sporadically talking to me about a Non-Profit based out of her small town in Colorado for months now. The organization teaches rural and indigenous women in Central America to provide for their familes through the nutrition, processing and propagation of the local Maya Nut. The organization perfectly aligns with all my interests: Latin America, agriculture, and the environment.

Yesterday she emails me that she thinks they might actually need a volunteer to accompany the Program Director to Central America. “Damn, how sweet would that be,” I thought. Within the evening I had agreed to go to Guatemala, Nicaragua, and Costa Rica. I’m not getting paid, but they’re providing air fare and living expenses. It all happened so fast and it was so exciting, I’m not sure I can tell you what I’ll be doing there. There will be some conferences, an important meeting, and I’ll be living for two weeks with an Indigenous community at the base of a Volcano in Nicaragua. But, what more do I really need to know?

I’m leaving in 2 weeks and I’ll spend a little less than a month down there, before returning to the States on February 15th and then I’ll have another 2 weeks before I leave for Thailand on March 1st. I think 2010 is going to be my year! Things have just begun to get Awkward my friends…

PS. The woman I’m going with is a CNN Hero. Check out her video below:

Ah New Year’s Eve. A time honored tradition. The ball drops, someone will make a toast, and probably someone will drink to much an end up puking. Nevertheless, I think NYE has turned into my favorite day of the year.

1. I love countdowns
2. I love champagne
3. I love forced kisses when the clock hits midnight

As cheesy at sounds, when we start to countdown, those 10 seconds are the most carefree of the year. Maybe its because those are 10 pretty drunk seconds. But I think its because they make me feel like anything is possible. Our resolutions have yet to be broken and our hopes our high.

Cheers to 2010!

New phone after my old one died unexplainably. Check. New keyboard after I spilled Soda on my computer and the keys got all sticky. Check.

Life is going my way. I bought my plane ticket to South East Asia. I’m out of work. What more could a boy ask for?

I’m also cat sitting for my good friend Ilan. Its a true blessing. I got to escape the clutches of my house and live life on the edge, on my own. Its a little strange to have to cook and clean for myself after living so long with my parents. But, Im really digging this independence and me and the cat Elliot and are really getting along.

Me and Elliot getting to know each other

We even get to cuddle at night. I really am the luckiest guy around…

Phew. I made it out alive. I survived the film festival with nothing more than a few bruises and a lack of sleep and nourishment. Over 11 days of Jewish films I schmoozed the hell out of a bunch of old cranky Jews. I shook a lot of hands, stood up and spoke in front of 400 people and went salsa dancing with filmmakers from Kazakhstan.

Deer in the headlights...

It was intense and now that its over I don’t know what to do with myself. My job ends in 2 weeks and I’ll be back to funemployment. Life on the streets.

I do have an exciting announcement though. Drumroll please…… I will be traveling to South East Asia come March and April. That’s right, the Awkward Traveler will be back on the open road doing what he does best. Plus this blog will get back to being interesting…

Thanksgiving, a time for awkward family hugs, wine, and old friends. My long weekend was filled with all of the aforementioned holiday accouterments. Wednesday night started things off with a bang with my 5 year high school reunion. What an overwhelming experience. Each conversation was exactly the same. “What are you up to?” “Wow, that is so great.” I could only get so far until silence came upon me and my old classmate and than I moved onto the next one.  But in the end it was hilarious to see everyone even if I had nothing to say to them and all the booze didn’t hurt. I honestly am looking forward to the 10 year reunion.

It was my first Thanksgiving as a vegetarian and I only missed eating Turkey a little bit. Below you can check out the Gardner family portrait. Now thats what I call a good looking group.

Photo by Jason Gardner, professional photographer

My daily metro rides usually go without note. Read the Express in the morning then fall asleep. People watch on the way home until the train empties and then fall asleep. But, the other week on the ride home someone interrupted my sleep schedule when they started ranting about Jesus. You know the type, he used to sin, have pre-marital sex, drink and do drugs until he found Jesus and now he spreads the good word.

Well today he popped up on my train again, he was gearing up to start his sermon when i shouted out “Oh, hey I know you!” He came and sat down next to me. “You Jewish?” he presumed as he slumped his arm on my knee. “Well, yeah actually I am, I have a Jew face I know.”  But instead of agreeing that I have a jewy face he simply stated “No, I saw it in your spirit.”

He went on to tell me he’s Jewish, let’s ignore the fact that he’s from Africa and then when I later asked him if he was really Jewish he said no. He does have a Hebrew name though. He also prays for Israel everyday. In the end we came to the agreement that Jesus saved his life and that I believed that Jesus saved his life, though not in Jesus himself. He told me this made us one and that he loved me.

We arrived at Glenmont, shook hands and went our ways, but not before he let me know that Jesus would visit me soon. I said “I’ll be waiting.”